Nope, Not Today, Elise!

Q: What are disappointment, anger, and a sense of betrayal? A: The emotions most Trumpists can sooner or later relate after their cult leader heaves them under the bus.

Courtesy of CBS

The joy I feel at this woman’s disappointment could be considered Trump-level nastiness. I will let you in on a little secret. Stand back — I don’t want to scream in your ear — “I don’t effing care what my feelings of gushiness look like!” To paraphrase Elf, “I am tickled pink, and I don’t know who knows it!” (Elf shouted he was in love, actually.)

Courtesy of Puget Systems

Yesterday, Trump pulled Stafanik’s nomination for Ambassador to the United Nations, fearing that Republicans could lose the open seat in a special election. It was a well-known secret that Stefanik considered the Ambassadorship her ultimate “dream job.” She had already frequented the quite amazing Manhattaan apartment in which the UN ambassador resides and had allegedly put a down payment on designer throw pillows and hand-made lampshades. Oh well, I am sure they will look wonderful in her upstate New York home for now.

Stefanik will continue to represent her solidly Republican upstate New York district, where she recently held a farewell tour in preparation for the UN role. She also attended a White House cabinet meeting last month.

During her confirmation hearing, Stefanik said she would make Trump’s agenda her own, particularly his “peace through strength” approach to US foreign policy.

As a member of Congress, she has been one of the international body’s toughest critics and a staunch defender of Israel. She has previously called for the US to cut funding to the UN, describing it as a “cesspool of anti-Semitism” and a “corrupt, defunct and paralyzed institution (Trump Withdraws Nomination).”

Stefanik won’t be missed in the UN, that is for sure. Is there hope that someone less corrupted and sycophantic will be chosen? No. Nonetheless, anyone not in the MAGA cult will take joy in knowing that an enraged and probably heartbroken Elise was stomping around her D.C. apartment, hurling ashtrays and screaming into pillows. Formerly a moderate Republican who was at first opposed to Trump’s extremes, aliens came down and scooted her off for experiments to another universe, leaving in her place a cocoon of all that is evil and sick about MAGA. Stefanik, literally overnight, became the QVC poster child for “how to sell your soul and live to tell about it.” Stefanik was even more ass-kissey and vapid than Lady Lindsey Graham.

Despite having spent a few weeks touring her district and crying at farewell breakfasts with firemen — “I’m really going to miss you guys. Golly, it’s been so amazing and real. But onward and upward, I guess. Dear Leader calls.” —  Stefanik will begin the arduous process of returning the hand-made pillowcases, dish towels, potpourri jars (made with apple blossoms and other growable stuff from her district) and other odds and ends well-wishers gave her during the “look at me, I finally getting the f*** out of this end-of-the-earth region tour.”

What is the etiquette, though, in a situation like this? Is Elise obligated to return those gifts if she ultimately lost the new position? This is a question for Miss Manners, Judith Martin.

In the meantime, we rejoice at Elise’s professional pain, so much so that my Friday evening pre-dinner drinks will be powered not by despair but sheer giddiness. Yippee!

Or, rather, “Ding-dong, the Elise has been banished to upstate New York!” Her district is a lovely, mostly forested area that has gone full-stop cult in the past decade and now borders an enemy nation (Canada).

Enjoy, Elise!