Russian Woman Arrested on Red Square for Eating Caviar
Being 'chic' in the new Russia is something the fascists want to discourage
Her name is Gulina. She and a friend wheeled a 30-pound bucket of red caviar out of “GUM” — pronounced “goom” like “boom” — and set up a small picnic on Moscow’s blustery Red Square. In the background, the walls of the Kremlin can be seen. The closed mausoleum, the resting spot for “Uncle Lenin” — as he was called in Soviet textbooks — is off to Gulina’s left.
Snacking on a massive slice of bread upon which butter had been slathered and then topped off with what looked to be at least 200 grams (7 ounces) of the delightful and healthy salmon roe, Russia’s finest approached and arrested Gulina and her companion.
Naumann told the MSK1.RU news outlet that her plan had been to shoot a “retro style” video at a restaurant in Moscow, but when she discovered that the restaurant was closed, she decided to film the scene at Red Square instead (Russian Woman Arrested on Red Square).
Gulina is one of those millions of Russians who have no opinion about the war in Ukraine. She is living her life as she wants because, like the rest of us, she has only one life and has decided she wants to have fun while living it. Secondly, Gulina wants to enjoy the bits and pieces of her culture that bring smiles to the faces of her fellow countrymen. The image of eating caviar with butter on a slice of white bread is something every Russian alive can relate to, and it makes pretty much every one of them smile. I challenge anyone from Russia to tell me it doesn’t bring back good memories and make their mouths water.
Gulina, after being interrogated for three hours, was released from police custody. If she had done this on Red Square on February 23, 2022, the police might have come over hoping to get a scoop or two of the caviar. In today’s Russia, however, the laws on what’s permissible and forbidden have slipped dangerously into the margins. When the laws are not clear, festering in the margins, everyone is potentially guilty. Everyone can be detained for something and nothing at all — like Gulina.
The cops and I have had run-ins with a lot of Russian cops over 30 years, so I can tell you with some degree of confidence that they are most likely not the sharpest tools in the shed — less diplomatically, they are dumbasses. When they saw a woman wearing a thick, flowing, costly fur coat wheel onto the square, which, depending on the quality, could run anywhere from $10 for one kilogram to $50 — the bucket held 14 kilograms — the synapses in their tiny brains went into meltdown mode.
Was Gulina trying to make a statement that at the Kremlin, they were bathing in buckets of caviar while thousands died horrible deaths in Ukraine? The policemen did not know, so they needed to harass her and cart off for three hours. They were covering their asses. This is what happens when no one knows what the law is — the ones charged with enforcing it pass the time covering their asses and so err on the totalitarian side of things.
Gulina later posted a video to Instagram of her eating the sandwich. The song she chose was one of those Soviet ones I am sure could even get Putin up from his end of the super-long table. Shuffling over, he would pick up a slice of bread thick with caviar and butter and join in on a sing-along (Here is Gulina’s video on Instagram).