Tariffs Become the Latest Scratch-Off for Struggling Americans

Cultists know they won't win, but it's the only moment each day they have of imagining something better.

Courtesy of Kicks

Daily, all over the world, working-class people pop into convenience stores or drop by corner kiosks and stare at the kaleidoscope of hope on the wall behind the register. Their inner voice whispers, “Could today be the day I finally hit it big?” The clerk, knowing that today won’t be the day, looks on compassionately. He wants to make the sale, but he realizes that the few pennies he earns for each sold ticket mean much less to him than the dollars the struggling, time-beaten man is willing to spend. The hope for a scratch-off win is palpable and the disappointment even more so.

Scratch-offs are almost guaranteed losing tickets, and yet people spend billions on them annually. My eight-year-old son has an affinity for them. He sees the advertisements proclaiming winnings of “Mega Millions” and imagines how the one euro in his backpack could result in an endless supply of Legos for him. “Pop, if we don’t play, we can’t win.” Oh, yes, “you gotta be in to win it” ethos drops from the mouth of child and if he only knew how accurate — and manipulative — that sentiment is. Believe me, though, he knows because as someone who hates gambling and only buys one Pick-6 a year — at Christmas — I bore him with my warnings about falling for that logic.

Here is the oddest thing of all, though. It took me less than a minute to explain tariffs to my son. As we walk to the bus stop in the morning before school, my son loves to cover a broad spectrum of topics. For a long time, we were discussing black holes in the morning. Not having yet had a coffee or breakfast, I would walk along and offer up a lot of “Yeps” and “uh-huhs.” Finally, I decided I needed to learn more about black holes to add to his musings. By the way, my son asked me to write an article here about what he thinks are black holes.

My son is already politicized. His life was turned upside down because of the war in Ukraine. One day, he had a world in St. Petersburg, Russia, with two cats, grandparents, friends, family traditions, and metros and trams zooming past; in the blink of an eye, it all vanished. Suddenly, we were in a world where everyone spoke a language entirely different from English and Russian. The cats are gone, our apartment is gone, and he has only seen grandma once in the past three years. Our son knows that Putin is a bad person.

He also knows how bad Trump is. He hears about Trump all the time, and so he has been hearing lately about tariffs. This is how the explanation of tariffs went down.

Since moving to Portugal, I have decided to utilize all of my former skills and experience to create a wine brand. I discovered some exquisite wines at affordable prices and plan to import them to the U.S. this year. The threat of tariffs has, of course, caused great anxiety for everyone involved in the wine industry — just as it has in all other spheres of business. When my son asked what a tariff is, I told him.

“Well, bud, if dopey puts tariffs on wine, then I have to raise the price of that wine by the amount of the tariff. So, instead of the wine costing $10 for people in New Jersey, it could cost $12.50.”

He listened, and I could see him doing the math.

“So, my Lego order (he recently ordered Lego pieces with money he earned) wouldn’t be 178 euros but like 220?”

“Yep.”

“So that means I would have to pay 52 euros more?!” He looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Yep. Can you imagine?”

“Why would he make things cost more for people? I wouldn’t like that.”

“Because Trump is a dummy, bub. Trump does things to destroy and never to help anyone but himself. It would be too boring for him to just let things stay the way they are. You know, like your classmate Diogo. He always wants to wreck everything in school. He can’t just let things be. He wants people to pay attention to him.”

“But Pop, Diogo doesn’t live with his parents because they aren’t allowed to be with him without other people being there.”

“Yeah, and that’s probably why he acts out in school.”

“So, if Trump is only making things more expensive to make people look at him. Do people still like him?”

“Yep, pal, they worship him!”

“What?! Really?! Why?”

“Yeah, buddy. Some of them are just stupid like him — sorry pal for that bad word — and others believe in Trump the way they do in the scratch-off lottery tickets. They have nothing else to hope for, and he scares them by telling them that everything is bad and only he can protect them.”

“Really? That’s not nice.”

“Nope.”

He fell silent.

“Papa, tariffs,” he waved for me to bend down so he could whisper something to me. “Can I say the word, Pop?” I nodded my head. “are stupid, Papa.”

From the mouths of babes.

My brother sent me this photo today from his Coke truck.

Like I told my son, they are dummy cultists. Shame on them for being so willfully ignorant.

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