The Wizard of MAGA
He huffs, puffs, and abandons international meetings in the middle. The US has never looked so weak and dysfunctional.
Trump says it, and it’s done. Donald Trump tells anyone listening, “Since I became president again, America is back and greater than ever.” The cultists squeal with excitement as they watch those words unfolding in varying ways in their retarding brains. “Yippee, we’re back! Can you imagine? It’s so nice to finally be respected again after the nightmarish years of Biden.”
“The world is more peaceful, and everyone fears us now,” he bellows. The rafters shake and the sycophantic cultists around him murmur in agreement, “the warrior ethos is back. We are so respected again.” The Wizard of MAGA whispers and they fall silent, readying themselves for whatever emotion they think he needs at the given moment. Perhaps he requires a guffaw? They guffaw. He demands anger and hate. They follow suit. He wants them to mock and criticize people weaker than him, people struggling to overcome physical or material hurdles in life, and they hiss and boo at their weaker neighbors or fellow citizens.
The Wizard of MAGA recently told the generals that the supersonic F-35 stealth fighter jet should have two engines instead of one. Trump apparently told them in a way that made it seem like the air force engineers were a bunch of dunces. All it took was his genius to see the glaring mistake and voila, the plane could now go faster. It doesn’t matter that the second engine makes it too difficult to fly, the military is now wasting time on researching how to incorporate a second engine to massage the ego of the wizard.
Trump promises to end wars and then gets laughed out of the room; or just gives away all of his bargaining chips and leverage to, say, Putin, and then blames Ukraine for not stopping the defense of their country. Trump declares economic war on the world, and suddenly the cult is in awe at how good things are getting even though “welp, if in the short term we got to pay more for everything and inflation will rise again, so be it, the Wizard promises it will get good.” Hundreds of trade deals in 90 days has boiled down to zero in 130 days. Oh, but I lie.
There’s the first “trade deal” spelled out in “excessive detail.” Trump then dropped the “important document” on the ground and the world saw that the pages were blank except for that big, stupid signature, clearly done by an AI robot.
The corporate (complicit) media hasn’t issued a single “WTF” over this spectacle, and the right is just doing another one of those “Oh shit, look, your zipper is down” moments to distract attention from this sickly embarrassing moment, which is historical but for all the wrong reasons. Can anyone imagine how the right would be reacting had Biden done this? If you can — and I know you can — then when we wonder why Trump 2.0 is again our reality, then its precisely due to just how powerful and coordinated that right-wing response would have been.
The world, except for the 74 million cultists who voted him in 2024, can see Trump, the Wizard, for what he is. The curtain is pulled back, and we see a sad, sick, old man, a convicted felon and sexual predator and maybe even a pedophile, doing all he can to huff and puff and remain relevant. For now, he is mastering that goal. America is under his snow globe, and when he gets bored, which is every 16 minutes, he picks us up and vigorously shakes, sending all of us and everything into eddies of chaos.
The powers of the wizard, however, are limited. They work only on the sickly and mentally ill of the cult. The rest of us, Americans, reject him. We refuse to skip and prance down that yellow brick road to his kingdom of caprice. Most dangerously, though, the leaders of the world, reject him. Not one head of state, friend or foe, fears this sickly old man. Putin rejoices. Xi giggles. North Korea threatens nuclear war and rejects his loves letters — this is true, North Korea refused to accept a letter from Trump recently.
And when Trump, puffed up his chest, did his best Benito Mussolini and demanded that “unconditional surrender” from Iran, the Iranians — and Israelis — stopped their war for a moment to wipe the tears of laughter from their eyes.
While the laughed, and the world’s enemies wondered what Trump wouldn’t do next, Pete Hegseth sent out a message to his Domino’s pizza requesting extra cheese pies and informed them of our satellite flyover times in Iran.
Yep, it’s just another Wednesday in a made-for-TV movie that no one ever would have produced because it’s just too ridiculous.
I wonder if dropping that folder of blank pages was a subconscious cry for help.