Two Weeks Is Forever and It Is Never
Trump promises in 'two weeks' to make a decision about Iran!
“I’m funny how? I mean, am I a clown? Am I here to f****** amuse you?”
Black holes are incredibly dense, and so is the president of our country. Donald Trump, or perhaps it is the Oval Office, exudes many of the same characteristics of a black hole. When anything in the world happens, reporters inevitably ask Trump what he thinks or how he will act. The answer is always the same: “I will decide in two weeks.” And with the speed of two fingers snapping, the event in need of a decision get sucked into the black hole of the Trump’ world and vanishes! As in nature, nothing ever exits the black hole.
And so, we will never get a decision on Iran. The events in Iran will unfold as they will, and the massacre of another nation of people by Benjamin Netanyahu will fill the pages of newspapers across the globe, but the United States of America with the anchor around its neck will struggle for relevance until it tires and then drops below the surface of yet another urgent matter requiring our attention.
Remember the first nightmarish years during Trump 1.0? Every week was infrastructure week. Infrastructure Week eventually happened, though, after Biden was elected to the White House. Donald Trump accomplished a handful of things during his first term, and none of them were good. He gave the most significant tax cut in history to the nation’s super-rich, and he fully empowered the racist Christian right, which transitioned into the white power movement of MAGA and the Republican Party. Trump empowered Putin and ensured the U.S. would fall behind China in a number of key industries (green energies, manufacturing of batteries, solar panels, and much more), making it now impossible to catch up. Trump also codified support for the dirty energy industry, ensuring that climate change would continue unabated.
The small list of things that Trump actually did during his first administration pales in comparison to the list of things he didn’t do. That list is dangerously long and continues to grow. Ever since Trump seized this political moment 10 years ago (I won’t mention that goddamn escalator!), he has in typical New-Yawk fashion bellowed that he would do this or that. “I will solve all the problems that you have on day 1. Elect me, and life will get crazy good. You will be sick of winning. Wars will stop because I say so!” Donald Trump solves no riddles and resolves no problems, because he is the problem.
World events go into the black hole, and with the now-famous whooshing sound that any Lost fan can still hear in their heads, the event vanishes without a trace. Trump’s team knows that all they need to do to call a day a success is shuffle the latest world problem until it reaches the “most decisive president in our history.” Once he gets it, he will strike a pose and declare loudly, “Unlike the previous administration that did nothing, I will decide what should be done and in two weeks (he looks to his left)…Mike, two weeks? (Mike nods affirmatively)…I will give you my decision.”
And nothing ever, ever happens. In reality, every day is now the day that the “two weeks” is up, and problem after problem should be resolved. But nothing ever happens. There are “concepts” for a better and more affordable health care system floating around somewhere, but we all know there aren’t unless it means ending health care in the same way Project 25 works to end our democracy.
Trump’s greatest contribution is that he actually does nothing or very little. The danger of this is that in a country as big and important to the world as the United States, a day when nothing gets done is a day when bad shit happens. While Trump does nothing and everyone waits for the next decision, the minions, the Stephen Millers and Kristi Noems, get bored and entertain their worst instincts. And then suddenly, it’s Friday again, and the links await our orange king. While he cheats on the golf course, more things require a decision, promises are made for two weeks, and eternity gets a reprieve — “Nope, time is not up yet.”
The nation’s media listen respectfully and then report with big, awe-inspiring headlines: The president will give his decision in two weeks.
Yes, he is a f****** clown, but sadly, he’s not amusing us.