Yippee! They Did It!
'Shut up, shut up! Next question'
They did it— really and finally — the most inept and some of the stupidest people in America managed to pull their collective heads out of their own asses and ram it straight up Donald Trump’s ass.
I just vomited up part of my pastel de nata (lovely Portuguese pastry) at the mere imagery of Trump, his ass, and people climbing into it — there goes my toast.
After the Damien look-alike (from The Omen movies) gaveled Congress into session and then pointed a finger at the world to laughably tell it “that what doesn’t kill us makes us our democracy stronger,” the lunatics were herded — and never before has that verb been so accurately used — out to the steps of the asylum to take a photo for the soon-to-be-written chapter in the American history book on “How to make America the laughingstock of the world and strengthen our enemies.”
While out on the steps, the exhausted, heavy-set, predominantly white, Jesus-posers cheered on Damien, I mean MAGA Mike Johnson — this was Trump’s nickname for him — as he talked about how the rejuvenated and united Republicans were going to show the world just how exceptional America is — on this I fully agree with him. Just last night, in one of America’s “safest cities,” over 15 were slaughtered doing “terrible” things like enjoying an evening bowling and shooting pool.
While MAGA Mike was touting how robust, if not virulent, our American democracy was, one silly journalist dared to ask a question that seemed to completely juxtapose Mike’s words with his views on the 2020 election. He voted against ratifying Joe Biden’s victory and believes that Donald Trump is still president.
If Mr. Johnson has a reputation at all, it is as a savvy and smooth constitutional lawyer who wrote a brief offering a legal justification for trying to overturn the 2020 election and served as a defender of President Donald J. Trump against impeachment (The Far Right Gets the Man of the House).
The question posed went something like this: “Umm, you talk about democracy, but didn’t you vote to disenfranchise the majority of Americans? The one who voted for Joe Biden.”
A congresswoman, some have mistaken for a water buffalo — and not because she is heavy —opened her snout and let out a: “Shut up! Shut up!” If the eloquence of this moment was lost on most people, it landed solidly with me. I was nearly moved to a “hurl computer against wall” mode as I imagined what this grouping of mediocre, poorly-dressed, pigs-in-the-blanket-scarfing (“oh, these are so tasty.” No! They are not!) losers have in store for the world.
MAGA Mike pierced the moment of incivility with his own utterance for the ages:
“Next question.”
That is where we are today, a week before Halloween in 2023, nearly a full three years after Donald Trump lost the presidency and then smiled and said to his kids, “Watch what I am gonna do now.”
“It was fixed. The election was stolen.”
And all of the dummies, the racists, the shitheads, and the pigs-in-the-blanket scarfing, Jesus-obsessed fascists emptied the last few brain cells they had into the ugly clay ashtray that “little Johnny made years ago” — you know the one, it doubles as a weight to keep the door open on windy days — and fell like lobotomized lemmings into line.
Where is that GD cliff? Why can’t they just go over it and leave the rest of us alone?
Next question.
Loved it. Disagree with you on one thing though. These people might be Jesus touting, but they are really routing fot that old Testament God, the fire and brimstone, the one who destroyed Babel, Sodomomah, Gomorra, drowned the world type. Not the rather tolerant, radical, self sacrificing son. There is a difference. Even an atheist like me can spot. Otherwise your description was spot on.